As I raise my children I think about each of them as individuals but I also think of them as a group. It is important to me that we build a bond as a family. I want my kids to feel that they are an important part of our family team. This doesn't mean that I never hear bickering or fighting but I hope that it will create a love and bond that will reduce the fighting and help them to have a relationship that will last into their adulthood. Here are some of the things we do to help build our family unity.
Team Sandberg: We decided to make a name for our family and talk to our kids about who is on that team. We decided on "Team Sandberg" (original I know). My kids understand that everyone who lives in our house is an important part of our team. We even take attendance sometimes. I think it helps each child to know that they are a valuable part of our family.
Family Chant: We have a little cheer we say when we are all together and having fun. One of us will say, "Team Sandberg" and the rest answer, "Oh YEA!!" We have so much fun with this. We do it when we are discussing our plans for the day. We do it after we accomplish something like putting up our tent or when we are having fun together. It is something unique to us that makes us all feel like part of a team.
Family Meetings: We have meetings sometimes in the morning to talk about our plans for the day. Sometimes we have the kids discuss what they want to do. As our kids get older we hope to include them in the decision process of vacations, special days, and more. We want them to be an active part of the team for fun things as well as household chores.
Ask for Forgiveness: This may sound strange but when you think about it you see how it works. We all fail at one time or another and by asking for forgiveness we strengthen our relationships. We also make sure that we make amends and don't harbor bitterness. We model this for our children by asking them for forgiveness and then ask them to do the same. We talk about our team and how important it is that we ask for forgiveness and forgive each other if we hurt the other person so that we can be a strong team.
Teamwork: We talk about teamwork. When its time to clean up we try not to bark orders but talk about how quickly we can get it done when everyone helps. Everyone on the team is needed to get the job done quickly.
Family Traditions: Family vacations, annual events, holidays and birthdays are all things that create family traditions and memories. These tradtitions are the things they will want to pass down to their children. Traditions also create security as the know what is expected and look forward to certain events. Talk about the trips you have taken, either day trips or vacations. Talk about upcoming events and holidays and what your kids love about them. This all helps to build family unity.
Quantity Time: I didn't mean quality time but quantity. We often think a little quality time is all we need but with children, especially young ones, its all about the quantity. It doesn't matter if you are looking for bugs, throwing bread in a pond, or taking a walk. Its all about the quantity that builds the bond (in my opinion). Don't get me wrong, there is value in the quality of the time, but one special day a month is not enough. Try to spend some family time together every day. Whether its a meal together, a walk after dinner, a family trip to get ice cream, or an evening at a park. Spend time together laughing, remeniscing about fun things you've done, talk about things you want to do, and hug your kids often. The more you model this the more they will do it with each other and help build your bond as a family.
We hope that these things will create good memories of their childhood and build a sibling bond that will help them protect and defend each other. Ultimately we hope to shape their character so that they will become loving and caring friends and parents someday.
What types of things do you do as a family that helps you grow closer together? We would love to hear about them.
Allison is from Magical Memory Planners - Visit her website to get travel advice (especially on Disney) or a free vacation quote.
