Let’s be honest, we’ve all done it. Thoroughly disgusted with the amount and type of food we’ve shoveled into our mouths over the holidays or the meteoric rise in our credit card balances thanks to that Christmas shopping spree…or two…or twelve, we write a determined list of things we want to better about our lives – the infamous New Year’s Resolutions List. We start off at a sprinter’s pace with vehement resolve to make this year the one that counts but after a few weeks, maybe longer, we realize that life is busy, hectic and unpredictable and we didn’t plan for that so forget that diet, budget, whatever. It’s back to life as we know it.
The problem with most New Year’s resolutions is that they are nothing more than vague notions of what we hope the future will look like. We’d like to be thinner, we’d like to be out of debt, we’d like to de-clutter the house. There is nothing wrong with these goals but if we don’t have a very specific plan for implementing them then they are nothing more than wishful thinking. Many of us have never learned the fine art of setting goals and making a plan to implement them so let’s get started with Goal Setting 101 so we can make those New Year’s resolutions stick.
- Keep your list short and meaningful. You will start off at a significant disadvantage if you are overzealous. While it might not seem like much to make up a list of ten things that you want to accomplish or improve in your life over the next year, when you actually get into the nitty-gritty of working on each one of them you will probably find that you’ve bit off more than you can chew and a year isn’t as long as you thought it was. Start by writing down…yes, write it down on an actual piece of paper, not just in your head…one or two areas of your life that you feel need the most work. Think about the reasons why you chose those areas. As an example, I will use weight loss because it is often the most popular resolution. Why is it important for you to lose weight? Do you want to be more attractive, to feel healthier, to please a spouse or partner? Determining your motives for accomplishing a goal will help you decide whether or not you are doing it for the right reasons. Setting a goal for the wrong reasons (i.e., losing weight for someone else, guilt over eating too much, etc.) will often doom your best intentions to certain failure.
- Be specific and reasonable. The more detail you give to a goal the more likely you will be to follow-through. Nebulously writing down “lose weight” is not nearly as effective as a more concrete goal of “lose ten pounds by March 15th”. Giving yourself something specific to accomplish (lose 10 pounds) and an end date that is relatively soon (March 15th) gives you a definitive means of measuring your accomplishment. Try to make the timeline short enough to keep you motivated without drawing out the process. Losing 10 pounds in two months is much more motivating than determining to lose 50 pounds by the summer. If you reach your shorter goal it will motivate you to set another one a little farther ahead.
- Create a plan. Okay, you’ve decided on a goal. Now, how are you going to accomplish it? This is the part of the resolution that most people skip. If you go into the process of fulfilling the resolution without a well-thought-out plan then you might as well kiss your goal good-bye. Start by evaluating your goal in light of your life circumstances. If you want to lose 10 lbs., what are the things you need to do to accomplish this? You will need to eat healthier food and exercise more but what does that look like for you? Is it realistic for you to join a gym or would it be better for you to buy a workout DVD? Will you have to rearrange your family schedule so that you can get the right amount of exercise? Should you join Weight Watchers or just research healthier food options for yourself?
- Don’t forget to add contingencies for your plan. Be mindful of the personal triggers that could derail your plans. The best way to break a habit or unhealthy pattern is to replace it with something new. Are you an emotional eater? Write down a list of alternatives to eating that you could utilize if you are feeling stressed or sad. Are there particular foods that cause you to binge? Remove them from your house.
- Keep going. Now that you have a plan you need to implement it and stick with it. For some it will be easy but for many this is the hardest part. Sometimes we just need a cheerleader, someone who can encourage and hold us accountable. Find a good friend with similar goals or, better yet, someone who has arrived at the destination you are hoping to reach. Make sure she is someone who won’t try to drag you down with her if her plan derails. If you find that you’re struggling to reach your goals call your accountability partner, pick yourself up, shake off the dust and keep right on going. Do the next right thing!
- Be flexible. In case you hadn’t noticed, life is unpredictable. The unexpected will always crop up making you feel like you’re in the middle of a real-life video game. Kids get sick, you get sick, cars break down, life happens. The important thing is that you adjust and keep moving toward your goal. Sometimes the plans have to be modified based on new life situations and sometimes they need to be abandoned all together in favor of something more realistic. Remember to keep the goal in mind without forgetting what matters most.
- Celebrate the small victories along the way. Whether it’s something as seemingly simple as de-cluttering your desk, losing 5 lbs or not smoking for a week, give yourself a big pat on the back and a small celebration. Before you know it, you will look back and see that the small victories have paved the way to the finish line.
From all of us here at All Things for Mom, we wish you a happy, memorable and productive New Year!
Kim is the wife of one rockin' Worship Pastor and full-time mom to four crazy and beautiful kids. Toss in a part-time job, housework, a blog, training for a foster care license and what passes for a social life these days and she’s still wondering how she fits 32 hours into a 24 hour day.
