Friday Flashback: Encouraging Gift Giving Among Siblings

When children enter our lives Christmas takes on a whole new dimension.  Suddenly, despite our moral opposition to them, we find an inflatable Santa Claus on our lawn and bubble lights on the tree simply because our kids adore them (although, I must say that I am still holding out on both counts even though my husband has changed camps on me).  As a parent, we love seeing the joy in our children’s eyes brought on by the wonder of Christmas.  Now is the time to take advantage of their excitement and willingness to participate in the holiday cheer by involving them in the family gift-giving.

Your children are never too young to begin learning about giving to others and what better way than to start with the people closest to them – their siblings?  Here are a few ideas for beginning gift giving amongst your children.  Not every method will be right for every family; it’s important to be flexible and find one that fits within the priorities and character of your family.

Things to think about with sibling gift-giving:

• Is my child old enough to pick out a gift?  A very young child might not understand that the gift (s)he has chosen isn’t theirs to keep.  It might be best, if you have both older and very young children, to take on the responsibility yourself of choosing a gift for the younger ones to give to the older ones.

• Encourage your children to think about what their brother or sister might actually like.  Explain to them that part of giving is knowing what the recipient might like or need and looking for ways to give appropriately.
   
• Do you have a large family?  Regardless of the method you choose for acquiring gifts, Christmas can get expensive when you have four siblings all clamoring to give each other something.  Try a Secret Santa name exchange.  Each sibling chooses another sibling’s name from a bag or Santa hat and they are only responsible to give a gift to the person whose name they have chosen.  Keeping that name a secret…well, that presents a whole new challenge!
   
• What is the best way for my children to get a gift for their sibling?  Would I or another family member enjoy taking them shopping or working on crafts with them?  What about other options?  Below we’ve included a few ideas for helping your child find that perfect gift for their brothers and sisters.

Easy Craft Ideas

Sometimes the best way for a child to feel a personal investment in giving a gift is through sweat equity – they made it themselves.  Here are a few ideas for homemade gifts that your children can make for their brothers for sisters:

• Have your child draw a picture that they like.  Take the child to an office supply store and have the employees photocopy the picture onto several pieces of cardstock.  Fold the cardstock in half with the picture facing out to create blank notecards.

• A No-Sew Fleece Scarf – Take the child to a fabric store to pick out a piece of fleece fabric that they think their sibling would like.  Help the child cut the fabric into the shape of a scarf.  Using scissors, cut fringe on the bottom of the scarf.
   
• Dragon mittens – buy a pair of fleece mittens.  Using similar or coordinating colored felt, cut two large triangles (about 2/3 the length of the mittens) with serrated edges (ridged, like sharp teeth), one should be a slightly smaller width than the other.  On the back of each mitten, place the smaller triangle on top of the larger and sew or glue the serrated felt pieces to the mitten for the spines of the dinosaur.  If they lay flat then simply fold the “spines” in half and iron them so that they stand up like spikes.  Sew or glue buttons on the front for eyes and use a black permanent marker to make nostrils.  Other ideas for animal mittens can be found on Martha Stewart Kids.
   
• Use beads and bells to make a festive bracelet or necklace.  Check out this great post on making jewelry with polymer clay!
   
• Use up those old crayon pieces and make some REALLY cool homemade crayons in fun shapes.  Instructables.com has step-by-step instructions with pictures.

Traditional Shopping

Perhaps, if you’re like me, helping your children make crafts for each other is not a stress-free activity.  Instead, taking your child shopping is a much more preferable way of helping your children pick a gift for their sibling.  It is filled with possibilities for teachable moments  and special one-on-one time with a parent or close loved one but before we rev up those shopping carts let’s make sure we have a game-plan.  

1. Pre-determine how much you plan to allow each child to spend on his/her sibling or if the child will be spending their own money and inform your child of the amount before you leave the house.

2. Chose a time when your little shopper will be at their best (avoid naptime, dinnertime, right before bed, when they are sick).

3. Take a snack.  Even if you are planning to treat your child to a meal out, you might find that others have a similar idea and the wait is longer than you anticipated.

4. Try not to plan other errands on this trip.  It’s Christmas shopping season.  It will inevitably take you longer than you think.

5. Remind the child that you are not shopping for them but for their brother or sister.  It is important to get them excited about the task at hand and forewarn them that they will not be getting anything for themselves.  This step will go miles in helping you to avoid a meltdown in the middle of the toy aisle.
    
6. Discuss with your shopper, in advance, some ideas of good gifts for each sibling and write them down or have him or her write them down.
    
7. If you have the choice, try to pick a day or time when the shops won’t be as crowded.  Saturdays and Sundays before Christmas are some of the biggest shopping days.

Now that you’ve made a plan and laid out your expectations with your child, let’s talk about the actual event.  Children can begin to learn about budgeting when they are given a set amount of money to spend for each sibling.  Show your child what a price tag looks like and explain what a price is.  This will help them to determine if they have enough money for a chosen gift.  If your child is old enough, allow him or her to take a small calculator to the store so that they can keep track of their spending.  Make sure to reign in those Christmas emotions.  It can be tough to say “no” to your little shopper when he is batting his eyelashes at you, insisting that his sister would love the Barbie Dream House!

The School Shop

Some schools offer a variation on a Santa Shop for their students.  Parents can send in money with their children on a certain day and the child is given the autonomy to buy whatever they’d like for their family members.  There are two sides to this coin.  Be prepared to receive a lot of kitschy items like magnets and figurines.  However, the opportunity for a child to shop for family members on her own can be a tremendously empowering experience.

Mom’s Santa Store

Angie at the blog Many Little Blessings had this idea and I am planning to use it with my boys this year (my daughter will be trying out the School Santa Store).  Start by going shopping alone and purchasing three to four low-cost, small items for each child, things that you feel are appropriate.  When you get home you can “price” the items for your shop with stickers.  You can either use the original price of the item or choose smaller prices depending on your children and how much you are giving them to “spend” or how much allowance they will have to use.  Next, set up shop.  Make a different section of the “store” for each child.  For example, when John is coming to shop you can have a separate section for both Alex and Sue.  John then chooses a gift for Alex from the Alex section and a gift for Sue from the Sue section.  When it’s time for Alex to shop, put away the potential “Alex gifts” and bring out the potential “John gifts”.  You get the idea.

Once the Mom Store is ready for business, invite each child separately to “shop” for their siblings.  Once they are finished, they pay mom for the purchases.  I would recommend allowing each child to shop at a time when the other children are not around so as not to risk spoiling the surprise.  It will also allow you some time to help each child individually learn to wrap their selected purchases. 

With these tools in mind, we hope you’ll take the time to share the joy of giving with your little ones.  Imagine the pride on your children’s little faces when their brother or sister opens a gift specially chosen and lovingly wrapped for them.  What better way to help your children learn that it is more blessed to give than to receive?

Kim is the wife of one rockin' Worship Pastor and full-time mom to four crazy and beautiful kids. Toss in a part-time job, housework, a blog, training for a foster care license and what passes for a social life these days and she’s still wondering how she fits 32 hours into a 24 hour day.