This is perhaps the most difficult part of the financial journey. We’ve given you the basic tools to help get you on your way to financial freedom but the tools are useless if you don’t use them and the biggest hindrance to utilizing the tools at your disposal is your attitude.
When we begin a new diet, a new exercise routine, a new cleaning regimen or a new budget, we come out of the gate with guns blazing. We’re ready to take on the world and God help anyone who tries to get in the way! The problem is not the starting gate. The difficulty crops up when something hits our trigger point, those situations in life that evoke certain seemingly uncontrollable feelings. When we allow those feelings to overwhelm us, when we allow them to dictate our actions, that’s when we spiral back into that hole after we’ve been trying so hard to climb out. If you don’t know your trigger points and learn how to check your attitude when they are hit then you will simply plunge yourself right back into financial chaos.
You need to set yourself up to succeed and here are a few steps that will help you keep on keepin’ on when all you want to do is throw in the towel and break out the credit cards.
1. Change your mindset. Sometimes we just need to stop allowing that victim mentality to creep in and take the problem by the horns. Perhaps your situation was created through no fault of your own but you have the power to get yourself out of it. Start by posting encouraging reminders around your house such as these little beauties listed in Mary Hunt’s book Debt-Proof Living: The Complete Guide to Living Financially Free
- I will not choose debt because it presumes unfairly on my future.
- It is wrong for me to spend money I do not have.
- There is always a way out; I will not stop until I find it.
- When I step out in faith, I unleash God’s power in my life.
- I trust even when I do not understand.
- I do the right thing even when I don’t feel like it.
- This credit-card company doesn’t really care about me the way this letter indicates; they are looking for a new sucker.
2. Identify your triggers and be prepared for them. Does stress cause the desire to shop? Plan an alternative stess-reliever such as exercising, meditating, praying, taking a walk, reading a book. Do you feel guilt regarding your children and want to spend money on them to assuage the guilt? Talk to a counselor about this issue and find non-monetary ways to show your love to your family. With some forethought, when these triggers happen you will have an appropriate and less expensive way to handle it.
3. Stop whining. Yes, getting out of debt is difficult. When you whine and complain about the process it only aggravates an already trying situation. What are the options? Get out of debt or stay in debt. It’s that simple. Change your whining responses to something more productive, such as:
- I never have enough money = I am so thankful that I have a paycheck
- It’s not my fault = I wasn’t totally to blame but I take full responsibility and will find a way out!
- This is too hard = This will be a challenge
- I work hard so I am entitled to have nice things = I work too hard to let money leak out of my life
- I want it right now! = Waiting builds patience and character
- Maybe I’ll win the lottery = I’d rather save $5 a week than throw my money away on the lottery
- It won’t matter just this once = Every little thing adds up
- If only I had more money then everything would be okay = More money is not the answer; it is my job to manage well the money that I have
- If I didn’t have to worry about money I’d be happy = I choose to be happy regardless of my present circumstances
- They wouldn’t have given me this credit if they didn’t think that I could handle it = I have the confidence to make my own financial decisions1
4. Figure out your Danger Zones and avoid them. Does wandering through the mall dull your senses until you emerge from a “window shopping” expedition with 17 bags and no memory of the purchases? When the credit card statement comes do you channel your inner ninja trying to hide it from your spouse or bury it in a pile of paperwork on your desk? These habits have to change. Where is the money leaking out of your life? Plug those leaks and identify how they got started in the first place and then avoid those situations like the plague. If you simply cannot avoid them, then it is important to make a contingency plan before you find yourself in that situation. For example, if the mall is one of your Danger Zones, but you must go to the mall for something that can only be purchased at the mall, then take out exact cash for the purchase and leave all other forms of payment at home or take a friend who can hold you accountable to staying within your budget. Yes, it seems extreme but it’s that important.
5. Get an attitude of gratitude. As I mentioned in a previous post, gratitude is the best way to counteract greed and, let’s face it, if we have no boundaries on our spending then we are just feeding a greedy entitlement monster. We need to start by being thankful for what we have. If we make this a part of our daily routine, finding something and saying, out loud, why we are thankful for it, we will find that our selfish pity party is starting to disperse.
Sometimes, in the midst of the hard work, we forget why we started doing that hard work in first place. We forget that we’re not the sum of our situations in life. We forget that “this too shall pass”. It’s important to realize that we have more choices than we realize and the power to make those choices. Let’s start today by making the biggest change of all…changing our attitudes.
Do you have a financial trigger or Danger Zone that you've conquered? Help a sister out and share your tips...
Kim is the wife of one rockin' Worship Pastor and full-time mom to four crazy and beautiful kids. Toss in a part-time job, housework, writing, training for a foster care license and what passes for a social life these days and she’s still wondering how she fits 32 hours into a 24 hour day.
